Baby Shower
Jo 4th June 2011
This is the day this is the hour
Time for your little baby shower
Did I say little that’s a joke
Your family’s really gone for broke
Jo this is your baby shower
Which should last a few more hours
All set up by your closest of kin
It had to be a win win
I thought maybe a bit of cheese on toast
But no we’ve gone for the full hog roast
**
Jo this poem is for you
Filled with fun and baby poo
A rhyming greeting I do send
To Jo and baby from family and friends
It’s been a long pregnancy with ups and downs
some smiles and some little frowns
This is something you can easily bear
Just as long as family are there
It’s not your first you’ve been there before
This is your third and may soon be four
First came Cameron in 1999
Mainly good but can be a swine
Harry was next another little lad
turned out well and not too bad
And now you have a girl on the way
Be assured you will pay
A proper little madam she will be
Just like her cousin Jamie Leigh
**
Your family are here to wish you well
and stories of you they can tell
A party girl you like to be
Not so fond of drinking tea
It’s something stronger you prefer
A wine Vodka or maybe a beer
A trip outside to smoke a fag
then back for a dance round your handbag
Blanket on the ground is your Karaoke song
You’ll sing it loud and oh so strong
A family party you do like
and usually win the fight for the mic
Jo you are the emotional type
And a good old cry you seem to like
One thing that always brings a tear
Is when someone spills your bloody beer
**
So inevitably we come to the birth
We’ll all be with you for what it’s worth
Look forward to that flowing river
Just before you do deliver
Look forward to the aches and pains
As midwife shouts please push again
You’ll push shove scream and shout
And soon the baby will come out
But please do not shout and scream too loud
You need to make your baby proud
One last push she will be out
And then with joy you can scream out
A little girl to join your crew
To go with boys one and two
So to the name what can we call her
Angela, Vicky or even Dora?
Whatever name you do decide
I’m sure she’ll be your joy and pride
**
I’ve bought some gifts for you today
To help you along the way
Firstly to help you catch the drips
Some little pads for your nips
The favourite gift of every Mummy
You guessed it yes a packet of dummies
Something to help with pain and smell
Some nappies and some teething gel
Some annusol I’ve also packed
To help you with your burning crack
On baby walks for miles and miles
Something to help sooth your piles
And for Peter I’ve bought something
Some condoms and a piece of string
So good luck Jo we wish you the best
When feeding baby by bottle or breast
When changing nappies full of poo
We’re sure you’ll raise a smile or two
So get on with it and have no fear
You have the support of all gathered here
Get in those stirrups and give them hell
We know all will turn out well
We all send you all our love
Which also comes from the man above
So a toast to Jo let’s hear you cheer
Let’s finish this poem and get on with the beer
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