On the 8th June 2010 you arrive with us in Liverpool
Welcome back to our City which we think very cool,
We started off with a family tea,
All of us including me,
The next day we allowed you a day to unravel
And recover from your extensive travel
Next stop was a visit to Auntie Mu
To exchange words and a story or two
I’m sure you mentioned Uncle Dave
Who has now sadly passed to his grave.
11th June off to Aintree races
To put some horses through their paces,
We picked some horses and placed a bet
The ones Keith picked are not home yet
To lose your money was such a pain
But at least you got to meet Tony and Jayne
12th June the World Cup starts,
With England dear to our hearts
We played the Yanks we thought we’d win
But Robert Green he let one in.
Not a good game in fact a bore
And England could only manage a draw
Up to now if you think,
I haven’t even mentioned a drink
Alcohol free? We must be good?
But does a wild bear shit in the woods?
We spent Sunday at Billy and Val’s
BBQ with us and some pals
A good day had by all I think
And maybe this day we did have a drink.
On Monday you called on Auntie Anne,
To check she was not with a man,
You knocked and were lucky she was free
She even made a pot of tea.
Then Keith got another call
From Sister Lynda and husband Paul
They came to visit Liverpool
As already mentioned city so cool
Then next day Keith hired a car
The route he took home was quite bizarre,
He blamed the sat nav silly fool
Bad workmen always blame their tools
Off to Wales for a couple of days
This time the use of the sat nav paid
Info entered by Lorraine
Some times the wife can be a smart arse pain.
Up and down hills, valleys and all
Seeing the sites with all dry stone walls
Seeing the fields counting the sheep
After a couple of drinks it’s off to bed for a sleep
Called in at Red Wharf Bay
Met Eddie and Linda and had lovely day
Out for a meal in the night to the club
And rounded it off with a drink in the pub
Back to your Huyton home
Leaving Lorraine in peace on her own,
Jan off to see Mama Mia
John and Keith off to the pub said see ya
Sunday 20th June
Time was flying all coming too soon
BBQ time it was today
As we celebrated Fathers Day
Next couple of days spent with Auntie Anne,
You met Chris and Dave and had a few cans,
You chatted about old times and family you missed
A few more drinks Chris she got pissed
Next stop Warrington to David and Ann’s
You went well prepared and took a few cans,
You had a nice meal and a bottle of wine,
A night you enjoyed you had a good time
26th June 2010
Our wedding anniversary again
Off to town for a meal and a drink
Good day had by all I think
Met Tony and Jayne and off we did go
For a sing and a dance with Smokey Mo
And now to that famous day
A world cup match were England played
We lost to the Germans they won 4-2
So we had another drink or two
England v Aussies in the cricket
England were great and got all the wickets
Then it happened the biggest scare
As our friend Keith went somewhere
It was not long before he came back
To our disgust showing his crack
Borat the little man had become
Showing off his balls and his bum
For this he has since taken some stick
And thinking back it makes us all sick.
Then off for a trip with Val and Billy
For a quiet week nothing silly
Adderbury your destination by car
Drive down south its not too far
While you were there you had a drink
And a meal or two I think
At breakfast some eggs and a piece of toast
Billy said he’d seen a ghost
He said it was real at least I think
But maybe it was just too much drink.
Then home again to Jefferey’s Crescent 158
To have you back was just great
Unpack your bags and wash those clothes
Iron and pack that how it goes
A meal a drink a story or two
Then it’s off again for you.
With George and Cathy and pensioners all
You went to Germany and had a ball
Some lovely sites a tidy place
You managed to keep up with the pace
Lorraine was taken in, her fortune was revealed
The driver he was magic the man behind the wheel,
One of four, daughter of Amelia that’s how the story went
But later on the truth came out the driver he was bent.
Keith had been drinking with the driver and had himself a ball
During this time in conversation he had revealed all.
Back home again unpack your case and grab a drink,
Tomorrow is washing time and more ironing I think.
We now arrive at the 13th of July
Time for a trip to Anglesea hoping for blue skies
Hire a car, sat nav on this time they got it right
Off on a trip with the Aunties for a couple of nights
Great trip was had with the girls, the drink they took it steady,
Until of course they met up for a couple with Linda and Eddie
Back home to Huyton, again you must unpack
Then settle down with John and Jan for a drink and good Craic,
Again sat round the table with good food and wine
It might not seem like much but we’re having a good time.
17th July the boys went out Keith, Michael George and John,
To Liverpool bowling club for some competition and fun
Now flat green bowls is Keith’s game, a game for Aussie girls,
So Crown green bowls a mans game he found a different world
He bowled them long he bowled them short he had to roll them back
Whatever Keith tried that day he couldn’t get near the Jack
A day I think we all enjoyed a drink a laugh and joke
A day Michael bought and round and drank 20 pints of coke.
Next trip off to Scotland a place that they call Bute
A lovely little island in fact it is quite cute
Keith on this trip had a problem with unwanted hair
Yes you bloody guessed it I’m talking about down there
His Borat line was playing up and didn’t look quite right
So he give Lorraine the nudge and had a shave that night,
She trimmed it with her scissors; she plucked it with her teeth
And when the job was finished Keith was bald down underneath
Again back to your UK home back to John and Jan
A drink a chat a joke a laugh and something in the pan.
Now we arrive on 24th July today what should we do
Off to town for a Chinese meal and a drink or two
A quiet day it started then to McCartney’s Bar
The day was then livened up by a man with a Guitar
We had a laugh we had a chat with a Scottish lad
A day again enjoyed it did not turn out bad
Sunday off to see the sheep to Wales with Ann and Dave
By the time lunchtime arrive is was fresh Lamb that you craved
You made a visit to Betws y Coed you didn’t invite me
And on you way home to a castle for high tea
A quiet week followed a chance to unwind,
Before you got both back to the holiday grind
Washing ironing cooking the beef
Lorraine lay in bed that was just Keith
Then fly off to Ireland with John and Jan
Rhonda came along to make up the clan
We stayed at the Radisson a lovely hotel
And all of the family they treated us well
Out with the Ladies Rose, Mary and Kathleen
What a great bunch and a fantastic team
Giants Causeway was a trip we did do
Driven around by our friend Barry Boo
A fantastic week end we had a great time
All washed down with a few wee wines
George had a party while we were away
For our great weekend would he make us pay?
Lip stick on bed sheets door of its hinge
Giving Dad an excuse to have a quick whinge
Over all it was not too bad
They had a good party and we were all glad.
Next stop the barbers for a quick holiday trim
Then off to the bookies we hoped for a win
A couple of drinks two meals for ten pounds
A pleasant evening in Scouse we say sound
Saturday off out for a meal and a drink
Liverpool Pride day so all a bit Pink
With Billy and Val you had lunch
And then John and Jan joined the bunch
On the way home Val decided to take a pee
In the graveyard under a tree
She though no one had seen her as she had her wee,
But it was all recorded on CCTV
Next stop Spain we flew Ryan air
A nice little flight we quickly got there,
We stayed in Can Picafort at The Africa Mar,
We drove from the airport we got there by car
A week by the beach to chill and have a little fun
A couple of drinks and relax in the red hot sun
On the Sunday a great firework display
What made it better we didn’t have to pay
Not much went on a quiet time but we still had a ball
A good time had by all the gang I speak for one and all
So it’s back to Liverpool to iron wash and clean
Back home already it hardly seemed we’d been
A trip to Anfield Road was next to see the red men play,
George and Keith the went along passed Shankley on the way,
Europa league the fixture was Liverpool V Trabzonspor,
A decent match we managed a win one nil it was the score
On Friday afternoon you went with the Callaway crew,
To the James Munro public House for a drink or two,
A glass or wine a nice lunch, you had a smashing day,
But when you asked the for the bill you didn’t have to pay
When the sweet arrived you thought it did look class
Until some one bit into it and found a piece of glass
21st August it’s out with the Curly Wee Club,
Off to Wigan Pier the first stop was the Pub,
Then board the barge for our cruise on the water way,
A drink a dance a friendly chat and buffet on the way
Cruise through lock see the sights and go around the bends
A day we all enjoyed I think, a day spent with good friends
On Sunday to Up Holland to see Netty and Chris,
To brake up the day a little bit and keep us off the piss,
A pleasant little hour they welcomed us with glee,
They even put the kettle on and made a cup of tea.
Our next night out to Skelmersdale to see Diane and Steve
They greeted us with Champagne a drink we could not leave,
Our Chef for the night cooked a lovely nosh,
It was a lovely evening and really was quite posh
Mathew Street was upon us
We woke up early to get the bus
We packed our food we packed our drinks
Every thing but the kitchen sink
The South Martins was our first band
A very good group in fact quite grand
The music flowed throughout the day
And so did the drinks I must say
Billy flowed a little too much
And got quite wet around his crutch
A good weekend many bands we did see
And what’s amazing it all was free
Keith and Lorraine needed another break,
So they drove off up to the Lakes
With Geoff and Maria they travelled by car
They soon got there it was not far
The had a good time so I am told,
Although they got lost on some bendy roads
Back home to Huyton the usual routine
Time to unpack wash Iron and clean
Keith and John went to watch Michael Deane
Play football against and American team
A good result they won 3-1
When it went dark the game was done
A man came by asked why is the grass so long and thick
Because it has not been cut yet, this man he was a dick !!!
On Saturday to Billy and Val’s went around for Tea,
Another meal for us and a drink or three.
On Sunday to Mr Lees with the Stephens clan
All the kids Jo and Mick and of course Greg and Jan,
We had a lovely Chinese meal we all agree I think,
And Keith he washed it down with his favourite bottle of pink
Another trip you just squeezed in best done in the night,
A short trip down the coast to see the Blackpool lights
Top hotel with George and Cathy you stayed in for a day
You tried to do a runner and did not want to pay
The manager he phoned you and said why is it you dash,
Get back here right now and pay the bloody cash!!
And so your final trip arrived to Cyprus with the Horrocks clan,
Billy, Val, Shelly, Paul, Trish and Dave and Ann
I write this poem while you are there so stories I can’t say,
But if you let me know any Ill add them another day.
So what a trip it’s been we’ve shared some great times
We shared many a beer and of course a few wee wines,
Wine at 3 for £12, beer 3 for £20,
I’m sure you will agree we have all gone through plenty
So here we are all gathered to wish you a fond farewell,
Family friends people you met and a few others as well,
Its time to round this trip off and send you on your way
Found memories of your trip will last forever and a day
I hope you have enjoyed yourselves we hope you have had good times
We hope you look back on your trip and smile all the time
So now back to your family I know you will love that
Its times like this when I can’t rhyme I wish you had a cat
So Bon Voyage Au revior tara and tatty bye
As you leave I’m sure we’ll all have a tear in our eye
Don’t listen to all the jokes and things we may have said
If you EVER want to come back there will always be a bed.
A John Deane production September 2010
Bye Bye Aussies hope you loved it XXX
