Joe
The Oldest Winger in Town

 

Happy Birthday Joe 50 today
You really don’t look it I must say

With a body like yours you know the score
You look closer to sixty four

Joe the time has finally come
For you to pack in your football fun

I realise you may find this very sad
To hang up you boots and your shin pads

But it’s time to be honest it’s clear to see
You are not as young as you used to be

On a Monday  you arrive in work in total pain
You hobble across the office with a walk like John Wayne

You talk about your injuries, you moan and groan
It’s only one persons fault and that is your own.

Back when you were young you used to be a star
An outstanding striker that could have gone far

But as you have aged your position has moved back
No longer so lethal in attack

No longer as slick and not so nifty
Joe please pack in now you are fifty

Don’t pack in all together that would be a pity
Maybe you could just go and manage Man City

Maybe you could manage your local club
Or just watch football in the pub

Whatever you decide one thing is clear
You can’t go on playing for another year

So now you are fifty what can you do
Maybe go on a holiday or two.

Off to Fuerteventura or somewhere warm
You love your trips to Benidorm

Do you go with Maria for fun and a quickie
Or do you just go there to see sticky Vicky?

I can picture you and Maria riding up the prom
On your mobility scooters won’t that be fun

So now you are older and a little more mature
You don’t have to look after your kids any more

Aaron and Leah have made a life of their own
And you don’t have to put up with all of their moans

I wish that was true I know what it’s like
You brought them in to this world and are stuck with them for life

But honestly I’m sure you’d like to shout out loud
Of both of your kids you are so proud

One works in a solicitors and the other one can sing
You love them both dearly and wouldn’t change a thing

You’ll need them both in later life and should make it clear
That one day they will have to look after you and Maria

As the brain starts to go and senility sets in
They have to help you wipe the dribble from your chin

But that’s still a good few years away
So just enjoy your special day

From all at Ritrama we wish you the best
Enjoy your holiday and have a good rest

Celebrate hard and enjoy the sun
A couple of beers and a lot fun

Remember you’ll soon be back in the job
Taking stock and earning a few bob

Two thirds of your working life is done
Only 15 more years and you can retire to the sun.

Happy Birthday Joe have a great time
And I hope you enjoyed my little rhyme.

A John Deane production – January 2014.
www.lost4wordsuk.co.uk – Copyright reserved.