The big FIVE “O” you have become,
Although you think you’re 21,
Headaches, mood swings aches and pains,
At least we know that nothings changed!!
Born in Cadishead in 1959,
Before the days of flu type swine,
Mother Vera and John your Dad
When you popped out it made them glad,
A happy home with brothers many,
You had to queue to spend a penny,
David, Phil, Arthur and Jim
I wonder how you fitted in.
Apprentice electrician your career path,
But after a while you found that naff
To do your bit and serve the Queen,
You chose to join the Royal Marines,
Taking orders from Sergeants loud,
Of this period you can be proud
Then back to England when you had done,
A fire Bobby you did become.
You then moved on to C&E
Another job filled with fun and glee,
Many roles a real mixed bag,
Many good friends including John Rag
Days spent out with good mate Wayne,
A visit down to lover’s lane,
A friend at times you often miss,
Especially after that first kiss
Along the way you met Diane,
A knock on the door you were her man,
You tried to get her into bed
But she insisted you must be wed
On March 22nd 1988,
All turned up no one was late,
Vows were said, you said I do,
Then off the pub for a pint or two,
Family home in Skelmersdale
With fridge and food and lots of ale,
John and James about the house
One Man U and one a Scouse.
Sat on the front bench for hour upon hour,
On clear days you can see Blackpool tower
Under the quilt with fish fingers on knee
A couple of drinks, well at least one or three.
Cut my lawn asked neighbour Beth,
And you obliged without a breath,
You did the best that you were able,
Until you cut the bloody cable.
We come to the sad loss of your friend Rabbit,
Who had a serious carrot habit?
Dig a hole or make a pie,
You only wanted to say goodbye,
But he had gone to the place below,
Buried under the patio.
When marrying Diane you became a fan
Of a friendly bunch called the Deane clan,
Holidays spent home and abroad,
Spent with the clan you were never bored
Hot nights in Spain and time in Wales
Never far from a few large ales
A small scotch with Mrs Deane,
A beer or two in between
A pint a half a glass of wine
All add up to a real good time
On Formby beach we had good times
Another beer and a glass of wine
A nice camp fire away from the City
We sat and you sang us some Irish ditties
You give the kids a Bob on the nose
Or at least our Bob did,Or so it goes,
Times having fun, times being silly
And to round it all off you’d give a wet Willy.
The premier league you like your ration,
Man United is your passion,
Your favourites Best, Cantona and Cole
You jump and cheer for every goal,
You’ve won some trophies you won some more
But you were sick when Liverpool scored four
A challenge or two you like to face,
Find me this and at fast pace,
A bag of flour a bottle of sauce,
Which you always seem to find of course,
A toaster a kettle a bottle of wine,
You always seem to find each time.
On recent night with friends so dear
A nice meal and a couple of beers,
You had too many at the bar
And couldn’t fit back in the car.
So here we are to celebrate your day,
We’ve all turned up even without pay,
So Steve today 50 you are,
We’ve tried to save to buy you a car,
Sorry but our target failed,
So we’ve spent all the money on food and ale,
So raise your glasses and let’s hear you cheer,
Happy birthday Steve lets have another beer.
