David Holt
Husband and Father
The arrival of the FORTIES. 

I know you don’t want to be forty
But to just let it pass would be quite naughty 

So please give me a little of your time
While I bring to you this Birthday rhyme 

Of this boy born in 1972
Let us share a story or two 

We’ll tell some tales some of them quite tall
Of a boy known as Dolly Beach Ball

Your childhood has gaps that I can’t fill
But I know you did burn down a paper mill !!! 

So now let’s cover some of your habits so bad
Some of these drive me quite mad

Your fingers and your feet you like to pick
You bite your nails it makes me quite sick

When you go at night to bed
You wear you underpants on your head

They’re clean ones but still not a pretty sight
But they do help keep out the light

One thing I’m sure in fact quite certain
We need to get some thicker curtains

So let’s talk about the highlight of your life
That’s me of course your loving wife

We married in September 2004
As a wife I couldn’t want for more

David you are my Tubby Hubby
Who enjoys a drink and loves a curry

My food is repetitive you always say
But hey you eat it anyway

One thing that doesn’t please
Is when I serve something with cheese 

Cheese to you is not so kind
And messes up your body and mind 

But you’re not so good at cooking are you
And always mess up the BBQ

At Dave’s BBQ we’ve all learnt
It’s only good food if you like it burnt!!

The other important thing to you besides me your wife
Is our two wonderful kids who are our life

Simon you shower every night
And then with Sadie you have a tickle fight

Simons quite mad he likes to climb
And Sadie dances all the time

Although these kids create some fuss
Their hands and toes are part of us

Occasionally they may make us moan
But these two make our house a home.

Above we’ve mentioned things that are great
Now a list of things you hate

You hate to do the garden which is not too bad
As this is all done by my Dad 

You hate clothes shopping and hate to queue
Which is bad because you need a shirt or two 

The ones you have from Marks and Sparks
Need replacing as they’re full of marks

Your hobbies you have quite a few
One of them being football and your beloved Man U. 

But everybody knows the score
When you have kids you can’t go anymore

Classic cars you like a lot
And a nice Mercedes you have got

It’s stuck under cardboard boxes so I am told
And is never seen out on the road 

Skiing you had a go at that
But the instructor said you looked a prat

Although the instructor went to great lengths
He said co ordination was not one of your strengths 

Scuba diving you’d like to do
But you have bad buoyancy and it’s not for you

You like your i pad and are on it all the time
You love BBC news and mail online 

GQ magazine you like to read
But by our bed they have begun to breed 

Can you cancel the subscription soon please Dave
To read the ones you’ve got will take an age

You like the TV when you can get the remote
But me and the kids get first choice so you often don’t

Family Holidays to Gran Can
Can be quite stressful you know they can

Over toilet paper one night
With an Irish traveller you had a fight

One thing you would like and think quite cool
If at the breakfast bar you could have your own stool 

Maybe we can buy you one someday
When Simons high chair is moved out the way

That would be great I’m sure you’ll agree
So then you can sit down for your tea!!!

So to the future what can you be
An Astronaut, A helicopter pilot or drive a HGV

Whatever the future holds I don’t really care
Just as long as you are there

The rhyme is sent in fun and Jest
As me and the kids think you’re the best

 A fantastic husband and wonderful Dad
You’re part of our life and we’re all so glad

 So happy birthday we all say hooray
Dave is finally forty today

 Something you may not want to be
But look on the Brightside you’ve always got me.